French Toast

Why Am I Still Up?

2008-06-25T01:46:00.000-04:00

4:20amPain
Thanks to you, I have been watching Neil Peart instructional drumming videos on YouTube!

4:22amPerdu
That is so funny about Peart. as my kitchen cleaning whirlwind was FUELED BY RUSH!!!!

4:22amPain
2112 motherfuckahs!

4:22amPerdu
WE ARE THE PRIESTS....OF THE TEMPLES...OF SYRINX!

4:23amPain
You sire are SO right abour Signals! Brilliant, and totally underrated album!

4:23amPerdu
Did Rosemary show you the video of "Subdivisions" that I sent her in my Anisette-crazed reverie last week/

4:24amPain
I recently watched their latest concert video from the 30th anniversary tour (2003), and those guys STILL have it!

Yes!

I remember that video well!

4:25amPerdu
I told her that "I was the dude in the glasses" in the Subdivisions video. And it is true. I was that person.

4:26amPain
So was I....which is why Adam and I cruised every Friday night in his black Peugeot listening to RUSH!

Time to move from Anisette to "the Green Fairy" my friend!

4:27amPerdu
Creme de Menthe? Or Absinthe?

4:28amPain
RUSH was always, in my mind, the nerds' hard rock band! Geddy Lee was the guy who was ugly as butt, but still got all the girls because he ROCKED!!

Abynthe!

Still banned in many countries, I believe

4:29amPain
I always looked at Mr. Lee and thought, there is hope..

AND, he certainly rocked the thunder broom!

But Neil was the 29-piece drum set GOD!

4:31amPerdu
I cannot believe how I completely wrote off Rush as an 8th-grade dalliance! I have owned these cassettes for going on 26, 27 fucking years, AND I NEVER LISTENED TO THEM! Just because it was something I ordered from the Columbia House Record Club in 1982, no way could it be good, and then I'm digitizing them last week and I'm like "HOLY SHIT" this is incredible!!!

4:31amPain
didn't he have to be lowered in with a crane or something?

You wrote RUSH off!?!?!? As an 8th grader!?!? My GAWD!

4:33amPerdu
Not as an 8th grader...maybe as a 10th grader...by then I had moved on to R.E.M. and Talking Heads. It's just that I never thought to try them out again...for TWO DECADES.

4:33amPain
I'd be writing manifestos in font size .25 with my own excrement if it wasn't for RUSH!

They helped me survive HS

4:34amPerdu
CONFORM OR BE CAST OUT!!!

04:34amPain
Exactly!

4:35amPain
Not all of their albums are great, but they had a good stretch for a while (2112 --> Grace Under Pressure)

Then Geddy went all Depeche Mode with the keyboards!

But they've gone back to basics lately

I was fascinated by Neil's objectivist-inspired lyrics

4:37amPerdu
But I was just going to give a shout out to GL for the keyboard work on the albums I do have (2112 ->Signals). Just excellent. I tried to get Stumpf to bring his Yamaha to SS so we could rock out on "Countdown."

4:38amPain
YEAH!!!

Well, the keyboards went a little overboard in the late 80s until mid 90s

4:39amPerdu
I must say I do have a strange new fascination and appreciation for Peart's libertarian themes.

4:39amPain
The remasters are mighty fine btw...

4:40amPerdu
Hmmm..remasters could work. I had to punch up some "Treble reduction" on my iPod to cancel out the hiss from the tape.

4:40amPain
I think that Cygnus X-1 Book II could become SS's theme song

4:42amPain
I bought a bunch of RUSH remasters from someone who was friends with someone at UFE I think...

4:43amPain
The inside picture of the band in 212 is priceless! Uh.....gay!

2112

I mean, WTF is Neil wearing?

"Let me put on my satin bathroom for this shot"

bathrobe

4:46amPain
So, yeah, RUSH is still the shit, no doubt!

4:47amPain
I envy you, rediscovering them after 20 years! It must be so orgasmic!

4:47amPerdu
I have no albums...All I have of "2112" is the little cassette that the Columbia House Record Club sent me...insid the little card is a list of "MORE POP TAPES" including Ohio Players, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, 10-cc, Uriah Heep, and Thin Lizzy.

4:48amPain
Thin Lizzy, another great, underrated band!

10-cc, not so much

See, this is a good reason to get the reissues....with all the pictures, lyrics, etc.

2112 had this great text inside, under the "gay" pic of the band

4:51amPain
"I lie awake, staring out at the bleakness of Megadon. City and sky become one, merging into a single plane, a vast sea of unbroken grey. The Twin Moons, just two pale orbs as they trace their way across the steely sky. I used to think I had a pretty good life here, just plugging into my machine for the day, then watching Templevision or reading a Temple Paper in the evening. My friend Jon always said it was nicer here than under the atmospheric domes of the Outer Planets. We have had peace since 2062, when the surviving planets were banded together under the Red Star of the Solar Federation. The less fortunate gave us a few new moons. I believed what I was told, I thought it was a good life, I thought I was happy. Then I found something that changed it all..."

I mean, when you are 13, this is like, poetry!

A bit of trivia:

Megadon was a coin-operated arcade game from the '80s that is listed as very rare now. The game merged maze games like Pac-Man with space shooting games, like Space Invaders.

I did not know that.....weird, wild stuff

4:53amPain
The only thing that was a bit of a turn-off was Neil's obsession with Ayn Rand

I just didn't get that

4:56amPerdu
Speaking of arcade games, have you seen the documentary "King of Kong?" About two guys, our age, who are still playing arcade games and trying to be the best Donkey Kong player in the world. Highly recommended.

4:57amPerdu
As a youth, I don't think I really grokked the Ayn Rand stuff from Peart. I've never been one to focus on lyrics anyway, which I do recognize as a failing.

4:57amPain
I heard about it through a friend here, and have yet to see it...but I will put it on the ol' Netflix list

Thanks!

4:59amPerdu
The director's commentary on King of Kong is pretty funny as well.

5:01amPain
"It's 2 in the AM here in lovely Mid-City Los Angeles..."

Why Am I Still Up? hartman/gossot copyright 2008

5:01amPerdu
Yep...time to get some sleep...this was fun, though! I'll try your AIM account soon...talk to you later

5:02amPain
OK....oh, almost forgot: I went to a Dodgers game today - they beat the iNdians 4-3

It was fun, but I did wish you and Helen had been there

Good night, and sleep tight my friend!

It's About French Toast, People!

2008-06-18T03:42:00.003-04:00

Don't over-analyze it! It's just about the gooey goodness known as French Toast. THAT'S IT!

You take some bread. You dip it in some egg. And you fry it up. That's it!!!! Stop trying to read more into it than what's there in front of your face.

Some people like to put butter and maple syrup on the French Toast. That's my route. But maybe you like orange marmalade. Speaking for myself, orange marmalade is disgusting. ANY marmalade is disgusting. What is marmalade anyway? Is it jelly? No? Is it jam? No? Well what the fuck else is there?????? I propose that marmalade be banned posthaste.

But WHATEVER, dude, you like marmalade, go for it! Spread it out on your French Toast like the marmaladista you are!!! Just leave me the fuck out of it!!!

Me, I likey my 100% pure Maple Syrup from Vermont. But you all do whatever the hell you want!!!!! Just leave me alone already!!!

Reaper: Pretty Darn Good!

2007-09-26T21:10:00.000-04:00

Hey, here's a new TV show that's actually worth checking out: Reaper. It's from Kevin Smith and stars Leland Palmer from "Twin Peaks" as the Devil. The show is about a slacker who finds out that his parents sold his soul to the Devil before he was born. Such an obvious premise; amazing no one has done this show before.

On the radio, Smith called it "derivative in all the right ways," which is true. There was DNA from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ghostbusters, plus a Seth-Rogin-type character and a "Forty-Year-Old Virgin" workplace milieu. Plus, it's on the C-Dub!

Visit cwtv.com/shows/reaper

Skull Made from 1980s Metal Tapes

2007-09-07T00:17:00.001-04:00

I can see that the teeth of the matter is Mötley Crüe's Shout at the Devil, while Judas Priest's Screaming for Vengeance forms the temple.

By the way, this is Skull #11 ('80s Metal), 2006. by Brian Dettmer.
Currently on display at the International Museum of Surgical Science, Chicago.

Photo by Flickr user Andrew Huff used under a Creative Commons license.

Via BoingBoing Gadgets.

LA Celebrity Sighting #17

2007-09-06T00:50:00.000-04:00

I spotted Sonic Youth guitarist/singer Thurston Moore at Canter's just a few days after seeing SY perform at the Greek Theater in Griffith Park. I did go up to him and thanked him for doing a great show; I felt kinda dorky about it, but I've been such a huge fan of his band for so long, not saying something was simply unthinkable. Plus, Thurston is under the mistaken impression that Kim Gordon is his wife and mother of his daughter Coco. I need to break the news to the man at some point about Kim being with me. I'll be gentle about it...

LA Celebrity Sighting #16 (French Edition)

2007-09-06T00:03:00.000-04:00

My Niece Mathilde spotted French entertainer Johnny Hallyday having dinner at the French bistro Morels at the Grove in Hollywood. Hallyday became famous in the sixties as a sort of French Tom Jones, mostly for his French-language covers of American and English rock hits. He is adored by his French fans to this day, and still performs frequently. He is also known for not being the sharpest knife in the drawer.

LA Celebrity Sighting #15.50

2007-09-05T23:50:00.001-04:00

It's been awhile since my last sighting blog entry. Lots to catch up on! Let's start with David Marciano, not exactly an A-list star, but well-known to fans of the TV series The Shield as Detective Steve Billings. The Ex and I spotted David with a female companion while we were at Lucha Va Voom!, enjoying the Mexican wrestling and burlesque striptease! Us bald men love them boobies!

Down El Paso way...

2007-08-09T04:29:00.001-04:00

...things get a little spread out.

This YouTube link is posted mostly for the benefit of Pain. Pain will likely know why. As a bonus, it also happens to be one of my favorite songs.

In addition to Tina, I guess Mr. Belew also knows his way around a guitar.

There are 10 other totally awesome clips from this 1980 Talking Heads concert in Rome, available via the above YouTube link.

Into The Cauldron - Part 3

2007-07-27T15:35:00.000-04:00

(Kim Gordon, of Sonic Youth; she's my girlfriend, she just doesn't know it yet.)

What the hell is going on at music concerts these days?!?! When I started going to shows back in the early eighties, people would show their excitement by dancing or maybe playing some air drums/guitar, sometimes smoking a little weed, or sipping a beer while nodding their heads. Today, it seems like a lot of concert goers think that they're simply socializing at a club or bar, and that the band working their ass off upfront is just background music to their super-exciting life. I went to see Sonic Youth at the Greek Theater in Griffith Park in LA last week, and I was astonished by the total lack of attention or interest people seemed to have for the stuff that was actually happening onstage! Most people appeared to show up late, and I mean like 20 minutes late, and then proceed to get up every five minutes to go buy a $7 beer, or go to the bathroom to piss out said $7 beer, or check messages on their blackberry or iPhone, or in general, just have extremely loud, asinine conversations with the person sitting next to them, or on the phone. I calculated that the three middle-aged Silver Lake hipsters sitting in front of us actually saw maybe half the show, and that the drunken Irish women behind us probably witnessed a cozy 20 minutes of music. The rest was spent doing other shit that would NEVER come to mind to a person like me who paid $35 to come see one of his favorite bands play one of their best album in a fantastic setting by the hills of Griffith Park! Let me make myself clear: I do not care about anything you have to say, so shut the hell up! The only thing you should be doing is looking at the stage and enjoy the show. Forget the bad beer, and if you must have one, keep it at ONE, not five! Oh, and a music show is not the right place to catch up with your friend over the phone. If that's what you want to do, buy a six-pack, go home, put the fucking record on, and call your dumbass friend, but please don't ruin my evening! Into the cauldron, the lot of ya!!

Note To Self: Next Time, Use Throw-Away, Prepaid Cell Phone

2007-07-12T00:52:00.000-04:00

What's more damaging to the sanctity of Senator David Vitter's (R-LA) marriage, and his relationship with god?:

A. Having to live in a world where gay people can legally get married and enjoy their love for each other like the rest of us?

B. Cheating on your wife by using the services of high-class DC prostitutes?

The answer, of course, is A.

Sexo y Violencia!

2007-07-09T00:14:00.000-04:00

There is this great show here in LA called Lucha Vavoom, which is a mix of Mexican wrestling, comedy, and burlesque striptease. It happens several times a year at the great Mayan Theater in downtown LA. Rosemary and I went to see it the other night, and it was a a lot of fun! It was clearly a standard gathering spot for the hip 50's retro/psychobilly crowd, and other scenesters; there were several comedians acting as MCs and commentators during the matches, some fun striptease acts using female, male, and transgender dancers, and above all, 5 great wrestling matches with people with names like Dirty Sanchez, Mini-Chicken, and the Poubelle Twins. It was all there - the good guys, the bad guys, the all-girl battle royale, the crazy tag teams, the blatant cheating, the incompetent referees with slow counts, the audience taunting the wrestlers, wrestlers getting thrown in the audience, and much, much more! Nothing like a good dose of theatrical sex and violence to relax one after a week of hard work! Lucha vavoom!!

No Jazz!

2007-07-06T00:50:00.000-04:00

On Saturday June 23rd, my ex-girlfriend and I went to see The Police at Dodger Stadium. We paid $50 a pop to sit in the nose-bleed section, but we didn't care. The Police were the first contemporary band that I got into when I was growing up. I will always remember hearing Message in a Bottle for the first time on Top Ten radio in the winter of 1979. They were cool, and wrote great, catchy rock songs. I loved them, and I was more than happy to sit in one of the upper decks of this huge baseball stadium from what looked liked a mile away form the stage, just to catch a glimpse and hear them do all the classic tunes the people came to see them play! My Russian navy binoculars did help a little bit, though...

Anyway, the Foo Fighters opened up. I never was very impressed by them, but they were quite enjoyable live. Frankly, I've always been quite surprised that someone like Dave Grohl, with his talent, background and pedigree, and his impressive musical influences, couldn't come up with better material for his own band. Anyway, an entertaining set, which seemed to please the plastic, OC-type middle-aged wives and girlfriends who were dancing around us, their fake tits bouncing in their $90 tank tops. We briefly reminisced how we saw the Foo Fighters play in Boston back in '95 opening up for Mike Watt on his first solo tour. Dave played drums in Watt's backup band then, and I think Eddie Vedder was on guitar. Mike Watt is still touring the country in his Econoline, and the Foo Fighters, well....they are almost like classic rock at this point...funny.

The Police came out and did their thing, and they were great! Stewart was The Man, wearing a black headband and white gloves, and playing like the old days. Andy Summers' riffs were clean and angular, and faithfull to the original recordings. And Sting was....well....Sting, I guess! They played all the songs I wanted to hear, including my favorites (Walking on the Moon, Invisible Sun, Spirits in a Material World), and it was a great show. The only criticism I had was about this annoying habit that Sting has about changing the arrangements on some of the songs, or sing them in a different key, or do these improv meddleys that sometimes dragged on for way too long! I was reminded of a story that the aforementioned Mike Watt told about playing bass for the Stooges: he said that Iggy Pop was very keen on him playing the original, simple Dave Alexander bass lines, and not get all fancy, and that if he got carried away playing live, Iggy would turn to him and scream "no jazz!". Let's just say that I felt like Stewart or Andy should have turned to their singer a few times during the show, and yelled "Yo! NO JAZZ!"

Weird Sh*t I See While Riding My Bike - Part 1 (Why Don't We Do It In The Road?)

2007-07-02T03:37:00.000-04:00

Another segment I'd like to christen here to document all the interesting (and sometimes bizarre) stuff I see and ride by - or over - while on my bike. I'll start with a bang: yesterday, on Waring and La Brea, while riding back from the Bicycle Film Festival in Hollywood, I passed a bright red silicon vibrator sitting in the middle of the road. For the rest of my ride home, I kept thinking: how did this vibrator end up on the street? Did its user throw it out his or her apartment window in a fit of orgasmic joy? Or was it thrown out of a car window as it was getting pulled over by the cops because of its excessive swerving? Or maybe it simply fell out of someone's bag while they were crossing the street? Or was it dug out of the trash by a stray dog looking for food? Ah, if sex toys could talk!....but then again, forget that thought - this is probably best left unsolved, as Nigel Tuffnel would say!

Through Furnace Creek on a Fixie

2007-07-02T03:10:00.000-04:00

I went to the 7th Annual Bicycle Film Festival here in LA this weekend, and saw a wonderful short documentary about 4 Los Angeles vegan cyclists who decide to compete in the famous Furnace Creek 508 bike race...on their fixed-gear bikes!! This is a relay-style, 48-hour, 508-mile race that goes through Death Valley, with total elevation gain of 35,000 feet! The documentary is called "Eat! Sleep? Bike!", directed by Sasha Edge Perry, and I highly recommend it to anyone who gets a chance to see it. Them LA fixie riders are tough!

Into the Cauldron: Don Orsillo

2007-06-17T17:26:00.000-04:00

Meet Don Orsillo, play-by-play announcer for the Boston Red Sox on New England Sports Network. Has an annoying habit of giggling like a nine-year-old girl at analyst Jerry Remy's in-game "jokes." Nickname: The Thumb.

Despite the fact that he's a well-paid professional broadcaster with a dream job, Orsillo loves joking about how some of the opposing players' names are difficult to pronounce. This first happened a couple of weeks ago during a game against the Atlanta Braves. He basically refused to make any effort to correctly pronounce the name of the Braves catcher, Jerrod Saltalamacchia. Usually he would just say "Saltamacchia" and then titter with Jerry about how hard that name was to pronounce. At one point he said "It has like five or six words in there." Presumably he meant syllables.

But is it really that hard? Sal-ta-la-mac-chi-a. It's Italian, just like "Orsillo." Come on, Thumb! A paisan!

Then, this past week, the Colorado Rockies come to town. The Rockies catcher: Yorvit Torrealba. At shortstop: Troy Tulowitzki. And in center field: Ryan Spilborghs. You would have thought Orsillo had never operated his larynx before, to hear him stumble over and complain about these names. Are they really that hard, Don? Sound it out. Torrealba = Torre-alba = Joe Torre + Jessica Alba. Easy peasy! Plus, the media guide provides a handy pronunciation guide for each name. Use it.

The half-assed effort to pronounce these names, coupled with the incessant jokey complaining about it, had me mentally dunking Orsillo in a cauldron of molten lead. Is it too much to ask that a broadcaster do his job, practice the tougher names beforehand, and just say the name without any extraneous comment? It's your effing job, Orsillo, to call the game accurately and informatively, period. Leave your effervescent "personality" and "quirky goofiness" and "crypto-xenophobic mispronunciations" out of it.

Into the cauldron with you!

In the Cauldron

2007-06-13T01:51:00.000-04:00

This is a new segment that I'd like to do on a regular basis. As some of you know, I get easily aggravated by small, often inconsequential things, and usually vent my frustration in unhealthy or annoying manners. This will be a way for me to do this without driving the people around me completely crazy. The degree of my discontent will be measured on a semantics scale, from "headbutt" to "up against the wall", with other ratings in between to be announced later, as I make them up.

My target today (no pun intended) is...the Beatles! Their catlaog is co-owned by Michael Jackson and Sony/ATV Music Publishing, but my understanding is that the surviving Beatles, along with the Lennon and Harrison widows still have full creative control of the music. So, I will blame them for letting Target use the McCartney tune "Hello Goodbye" in its most recent ad campaign, and I will blame Paul in particular for allowing this to happen since he wrote the song.

So, Paul, step on up and come get your headbutt! You deserve it, lad!

LA Celebrity Sighting #16

2007-06-11T02:21:00.000-04:00

Keith Morris (seen here on the right) was the original singer for Black Flag until 1979 when he left and formed the hardcore skate/surf-punk outfit the Circle Jerks out of Hermosa Beach. Any self-respecting SoCal punk fan should have the Circle Jerks' debut album Group Sex on their shelf. I ran into Keith at Amoeba Records in Hollywood, buying a shitload of vinyl, and anxiously examining them at the counter for scratches. Sure, he looks like a goofball these days - a mix between Leon Trotsky and a Jah dance-hall DJ - but if you doubt the significance of this man's recording career, go home and download Black Flag's Nervous Breakdown EP. Don't argue - just do it.

LA Celebrity Sighting #15

2007-06-11T02:09:00.001-04:00

I ran into Mary-Louise Parker at Whole Foods in West Hollywood, in aisle 2, by the chips, salsa and cookies section; she was there with some nondescript guy and a toddler, and all I really remember is that she looked right at me and smiled, and I thought she was the most attractive dope dealer I've ever seen! Snoop was right: she is quite the MILF!

HELP!

2007-06-06T00:33:00.000-04:00

For the longest time, I treated the Beatles' collection of recordings as a two-tier catalog: there was Revolver in 1966, with everything that came after it, and then there was the stuff before that, the Beatlemania stuff. When I discovered the Beatles, I immediately gravitated to the later-period recordings, and I pretty much ignored the pre-Revolver releases. Years later, I got into the other albums, like Rubber Soul and Help!, and while listening to the title track of Help! tonight, I was reminded how absolutely brilliant these guys had gotten by early 1965! In particular, I think that Paul and George's background singing on the verses for that track is proof that the Lennon/McCartney song-writing team was pure genius. For that little bit alone, they are forever gods in my mind.

LA Celebrity Sightings #12-14

2007-06-04T23:51:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've posted my last entry, but I certainly made up for the wait with a nice cluster-sighting at the Arclight Theater in Hollywood. R and I were there to see Zodiac, when we ran into these three folks in the lobby, talking in a group. For those of you who are fans of the show The Shield, you will recognize them as "Danny", "Corrine" and "Dutch", aka Catherine Dent, Cathy Cahlin and Jay Karnes, repectively. This multiple sighting was exciting for me because I am a fan of the show, and it was a bit like running into 3/5 of a band you like, so I kept looking around to see if the others were there....where are you Michael Chiklis?

Cinema Update

2007-05-17T14:31:00.000-04:00

Circle June 1 on the calendar: a new Judd Apatow movie starring Seth Rogen: Knocked Up. Plot looks ~~a bit lame~~ totally awesome* ~~but~~ and the presence of Rogen demands that Attention Must be Paid.

* The local commissar demanded this edit.

LA Celebrity Sighting #11 - Santa Monica Edition

2007-04-03T00:41:00.000-04:00

We spotted Robert picking food up at the Santa Monica vegan restaurant Real Food Daily while we were eating there last weekend. For those of you who may not know, Robert Trujillo is the current thud staff man in Metallica. I highly recommend the movie Some Kind of Monster which documented the recording of the album St. Anger and the coming of Robert into the band; it's a great rockumentary, even if you are not a fan of the band's music. Robert is an amazing player who favors using his fingers rather than a pick, but who is nevertheless one of the fastest guys around, in the vain of Geezer Butler, Steve Harris, or Geddy Lee. Gotta respect the bassman!

LA Celebrity Sighting #10

2007-04-01T21:39:00.000-04:00

I went down to this place called the Farmers Market down on Fairfax and 3rd a few weekends ago; it's not really a farmers market, but more like a tourist attraction, with dozens of souvenir shops and restaurants, very much like Faneuil Hall in Boston. It's adjacent to The Grove, a fancy-schmancy pedestrian outdoor mall, complete with a trolley and all the upscale stores and restaurants one would expect. Anyway, here I am, reading Rolling Stone magazine at this newsstand, silently lamenting the terrible state of the American rock scene (the heinous poseur band Fall Out Boy was on the cover!), when I looked up and found myself right next to Kanye West! I of course pretended to not recognize him (you gotta stay cool!) and proceeded to grab all sorts of different mags to look at as a transparent excuse to stay close to him. He was there with a woman and a kid, and spent some time talking to someone on his cell phone about some photo shoot. I have to say, he looked quite classy and handsome, and I probably would have said something to him if he had been alone.

LA Celebrity Sighting #9

2007-04-01T21:05:00.000-04:00

R. and I went to see a show at UCLA called Flesh and Blood. I sat down next to this woman who told me she was holding the seat for her friend. I moved to another seat, and a few minutes later found out that the friend was actress Maura Tierney when she walked in late and quickly sat down behind me.

I was never a big fan of her work on ER, but I quite enjoyed her acting when she was on Newsradio, a great comedy sitcom that aired in the second half of the nineties, which was canceled after the tragic murder of one of its main actors, Phil Hartman.

Mood Enhancer

2007-03-23T06:34:00.000-04:00

What is it about the Swedes that improves my mood so reliably? This new song by I'm from Barcelona has been playing recently at my local coffee shop and the video just makes me want to move to Malmo or Huskvarna on the double.

America Before the Estate Tax

2007-03-23T06:30:00.000-04:00

Back in early 2001, at my last job, I had kind of a loopy advertising concept to defend the estate tax against abolition: images of sooty, child-labor-y America around the turn of the 20th century arrayed beneath the headline "What Was America Like Before the Estate Tax?" (The estate tax was first enacted in 1916). It was too over-the-top for the people in charge of the pro-estate-tax campaign, and became kind of a running joke at my expense, but now there is a website full of these images.

It's easy to imagine that life would be just ducky if we just got rid of taxes and regulations and ran a laissez-faire economy, but we tried that already, and I don't think most of us would really like to go back to those days.

(Via BoingBoing)

Me and Daniel Johnston

2007-01-24T00:23:00.000-05:00

I finally got around to watching "The Devil and Daniel Johnston" last night, the documentary about singer/songwriter Daniel Johnston, who has been a darling of the underground music scene for the last 20 years. Johnston, a gifted songwriter plagued with chronic mental illness, has often been compared to other troubled geniuses like Brian Wilson and Syd Barrett. While I was not familiar with all the details of Johnston's personal story and his music, I had been exposed to some of his songs over the years, mostly through covers by other artists (Boston's own Mary Lou Lord's cover of "Speeding Motorcycle" and fIREHOSE's rendition of "Walking the Cow"). The documentary does a decent job of presenting Johnston's art (mostly music, with some drawings and paintings), but it mostly seemed to focus on the larger issue of Johnston's struggle with mental illness over the years, and the tragic effect it had on him, his family, friends, and artistic peers. It's a depressing movie, but I appreciated its honest portrayal of the debilitating and often terrifying effects of severe manic depression. There seems to be a certain coolness associated with being a mentally ill artist, at least from some fans' point of view, and I've always been annoyed by that attitude. By the end of the movie, I was left with a deep sense of sorrow for Johnston's tragic story, as much as I was intrigued and curious to find out more about his body of work. His music, at its best, is truly brilliant, but it came at such a high personal price! I found myself wishing that he had grown up healthy, even if that would have meant being less successful artistically.

LA Celebrity Sighting #8

2006-12-28T01:08:00.000-05:00

The ex-girlfriend and I took a visiting friend from Boston to Swingers in West Hollywood, and Michael Dorn, AKA, Worf, the bad-ass Klingon of the series Star Trek: The New Generation, was sitting in the booth next to ours. This is a guy who worked with Patrick "Jean-Luc Picard" Stewart for 7 years, so you know he's the real deal! And of course, we had to call our sci-fi geek friend Paula to gloat!

Buddhism vs. Molecular Biology

2006-12-19T02:49:00.000-05:00

"I believe chanting can change your DNA"

- Courtney Love

LA Celebrity Sighting #7

2006-12-11T01:59:00.000-05:00

Walked by Adam Sandler at the Beverly Center shopping mall in West Hollywood, sporting a New York Jets jacket and pushing a kid in a stroller. I'm not a big fan of the man's oeuvre, though The Wedding Singer is a great movie, and some of his characters on SNL were also quite funny.

PastaBelt Organizer

2006-12-10T10:10:00.000-05:00

Having a hard time finding the right pasta, or the right belt for that suit? You need to get organized. The PastaBelt Organizer neatly stores up to 40 varieties of fresh pasta -- from linguine to angel hair -- plus 28 belts on non-slip hooks. Push the toggle switch and they rotate forward or back. The motor is so efficiently designed it's almost completely silent. The convenient non-glare light comes on automatically when the rack begins rotating to help you pick the right noodle and/or belt. Adjustable bracket mounts to most closet rods or kitchen cabinetry. Matte finish with natural wood trim. Uses 4 D batteries (not included). Not recommended for use with gnocci.

$60.00.

LA Celebrity Sightings #4-5.5

2006-11-28T20:43:00.000-05:00

More sightings from the past couple of weeks as posted on R.'s blog

Dagney Kerr only gets a half point as a pseudo-celebrity; she doesn't even qualify as a D-lister, so that practically makes her a civilian.

Mayonnaise Sleigh

2006-11-18T01:10:00.000-05:00

Inject a little Christmas spirit into every-day condiment consumption with this battery-powered sleigh that also holds your favorite mayonnaise, sauce, or spread. Integrated circuitry plays "The First Noel" and "Jingle Bells" repeatedly as the sleigh tours the dinner table in an 18" diameter circle. Keeps kids pretty well occupied.

13 oz.
$24.99

From the Crastpog Enterprises "Home for the Holidays" Catalog, Christmas 1986.

Best Election Story This Year

2006-11-08T15:03:00.000-05:00

One of these lovely lads is now a Democrat Congressman from New York:

Read all about it.

Here's a Dystopia fer Ya

2006-11-08T00:17:00.000-05:00

Forget global warming-driven famine or a Chomskyan "Hegemony or Survival" future. Consider this bleak scenario that awaits on the nation's sidewalks and in our grocery-store aisles. Squadrons of mobility-challenged Baby Boomers zooming to and fro on their Hoverounds. Oblivious Gen X and Y parents careering around with their supersized SUV strollers. The odd Segway. Ordinary shoe-leather pedestrians in mortal danger.

Speaking of Election Interference

2006-11-05T16:02:00.000-05:00

From yesterday's Los Angeles Times:

" U.S. Commerce Secretary Carlos M. Gutierrez and Paul Trivelli, the US Ambassador in Managua, have also both said that a [Daniel] Ortega victory could prompt cuts in aid from the United States, leading the Sandanistas and others here to denounce outside intereference in the Nicaraguan electoral process"

It was also reported that several GOP congressmen including U.S. Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Huntington Beach) are asking Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff to "prepare to block people in the U.S. from sending money to Nicaragua should Ortega be elected."

According to the LA Times, "one in five Nicaraguan families depends on money from relatives living abroad for a substantial chunk of income."

I guess threatening people with economic terrorism is one way to interfere with the electoral process of a sovereign nation.

Vote the way we want you to or else...

I wonder what Rep. Rohrabacher would say if an outside nation - one with the kind of economic leverage the U.S. has on Nicaragua - tried to do the same with us?

Mussel Motel

2006-11-02T21:39:00.000-05:00

Clams check in, they won't check out. Control household mussel population. Non-toxic.

Item no. MM-4576
$5.95 / pack of 3

From the Crastpog Enterprises "Home for the Holidays" Catalog, Christmas 1986.

LA Celebrity Sighting #3

2006-10-26T16:50:00.000-04:00

Juliet Landau, usually recognized as the character Drusilla from the TV series Buffy, turned to my ex-girlfriend while they were both standing in line for tickets to see a show at the Electric Lodge in Venice, and asked her if she could hold her place in line for her. Sure thing Drusilla!

Cut and Run

2006-10-20T11:27:00.000-04:00

While I am mildly encouraged by the fact that public opposition to the brutal U.S. occupation of Iraq is beginning to have a real effect on the mid-term election campaign, I am still horrified (though not surprised, of course!) that politicians only seem to change their opinion on an issue when it becomes an obvious political liability for them.

The war and occupation are not wrong because they are going badly; they were always morally and legally wrong. And while I appreciate the real impact these changes of minds may have in the up-coming election, I am also appalled that ALL these folks that are now distancing themselves from the Chimp-in-Chief and the debacle in Iraq were originally all jingoistically in favor of the policies they are now pooh-poohing.

Thanks, but we are about 600,000 Iraqis too late for that, and frankly, that keeps me up at night.

Pessimism

2006-10-14T04:00:00.000-04:00

I can't help it. At root, I am a pessimist. A. It's easier. B. It's funner.

Nevertheless, like a good Existentialist I am taking a Sustainable Development class. This week, the homework assignment was to say, in one page or less, whether we thought that "Sustainable Development," however defined, was likely to become a reality or remain a myth in coming decades.

I once worked for a non-profit organization that tried to give people hope in a bright future. I am no longer so employed, so my pessimistic side was free to take over on this assignment. Here's what I wrote:

Given the current global situation, my prognosis for sustainable development in the coming decades is unfortunately quite bleak. I foresee a two-tiered world that combines two possible scenarios envisioned by the Global Scenario Group’s Great Transition Initiative (sorry about the atrocious illustrations). In the Developed World only, the GSG’s “Conventional Worlds” scenario should continue to prevail, consisting of a regulated market with ongoing policy reform designed, as GSG puts it, “to achieve greater social equity and environmental protection” (for its own citizens, primarily). This Developed World, consisting of roughly 25 percent of the world’s population, will prosper behind a global fortress in the form of U.S. and allied military forces. As the GSG describes its “Fortress World” scenario, “ensconced in protected enclaves, elites [will] safeguard their privilege by controlling an impoverished majority and managing critical natural resources, while outside the fortress there is repression, environmental destruction and misery.”

I believe this Fortress World is already under construction in the form of the U.S. invasion of Iraq and its large oil fields. An indication of the permanence of this stance can be found in the massive expenditures the Developed World makes to maintain its fortress. As Lawrence Korb, former U.S. Assistant Defense Secretary in the Reagan Administration, has pointed out, the U.S. and its allies will spend over $750 billion on defense in fiscal year 2007, not including the cost of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. This is five times as much as Russia, China, North Korea, Iran, Syria, Cuba, and the Sudan will spend combined. Such a disparity suggests that the U.S. and its allies are interested not in protecting themselves from potential foreign enemies, but in safeguarding access to and control over a natural resource – namely, petroleum.

Free-market optimists would argue that free trade and technology, along with price signals to spur the development of alternative energy, will eventually be able to deal with a planet of 9 to 10 billion human beings who will all expect enjoy a US level of consumption. They point to the relatively prosperous and clean Developed World and argue that there is no reason that the Developing World cannot develop in the same way.

However, the widening income disparity between the richest 20% of the world’s population and the poorest 20%, from a 30:1 ratio in 1960 to a 150:1 ratio in 2006, suggests that development of the Developed World has come at the expense of the Developing World. If the Developing World is to follow the Developed World’s development path, they have a problem: no one left to exploit. The Developed World was first on the field, which gave it an enduring advantage – it could exploit the resources and despoil the environments of other countries while accumulating enough income at home to build regulated markets that produced high incomes and relatively clean environments.

China and India are closing the income and consumption gap, but their consumption is still so far behind that of the United States that it seems unlikely that they will be able to achieve parity with the United States without touching off an environmental catastrophe inside their own borders.

LA Celebrity Sighting #2

2006-10-08T17:26:00.000-04:00

It's been a busy weekend for celebrity sighting thus far: This morning, the ex-girlfriend and I spotted Mr. Andy Dick, with entourage, sampling jujubes at the Hollywood Farmers' Market. It's good to see him eating fresh fruit and off the blow! There, I said it...

Today's soundtrack

2006-10-08T01:14:00.000-04:00

I will forever associate The Psychedelic Furs' self-titled debut album with Mike, my junior year roommate in college. He used to play this album all the time when he was in a good mood, like before a date, or on a Friday night after a major exam. I lost track of Mike the summer after we graduated. The last time I saw him was in June or July of '91. We met for drinks at a local dive bar, and he told me this story about how, just the week before, he had met this Australian woman at the bar of the Westin Hotel in Copley Place, and impulsively rented a luxury room there after they'd had a few drinks because they couldn't wait to tear each other's clothes off. He also told me how the Aussie bird, after a mind-blowing go in the sack, offered to call her female traveling companion and have her come over for Round Two. Mike chickened out and turned down the offer... we both agreed that he had blown a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and Mike lamented how, in retrospect, he should have done it, especially given the price of the room! I went home that evening wondering what a menage a trois with two beautiful and horny Australian women might be like. I never saw Mike again, but I think of him - and horny women from down under! - everytime I hear this album...

LA Celebrity Sighting #1 (sorta...)

2006-10-07T23:07:00.000-04:00

Since my relocation to Los Angeles a little over a month ago, I had yet to run into a celebrity of any kind, and I was wondering why, given their high concentration in these parts (Westside of LA).

Well, I can finally report that board is no longer scoreless: My ex-girlfriend and I were at the Bagel Broker on Beverly Blvd and Fairfax this morning (GREAT bagel sandwiches!), and when I sat down to join her at the table, she pointed out that I had been waiting in line in front of actor Seth Rogen, known primarily for his role as Steve Carell's hilarious Smart Tech coworker Cal in "The 40 Year Old Virgin":

"You have a framed ASIA poster?!?!"

I was tempted for a moment to go up to him and say "you know how I know you're gay?", but he was accompanied by what looked like a female significant other, and I decided to not bug the man this early in the day on a Saturday morning. Stay put for more sighting reports!

You Know How I Know You're Gay?

2006-10-05T00:50:00.000-04:00

You already have your ticket to the ASIA reunion concert!

Def Classic??

2006-10-04T23:59:00.000-04:00

I'm currently watching this series on VH1 called "Classic Albums". Tonight, they are covering Def Leppard's "Hysteria", their commercially-acclaimed 1987 release. Now, this album has been thrown in the same bag of "classic albums" as Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon", Elton John's "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" and Jimi Hendrix's "Electric Ladyland". I very much remember when "Hysteria" came out, my senior year in high school. I also remember how the other "classic" albums in that series greatly influenced me and made a huge, indelible impression on me. I'm really trying hard here, but no matter how much I think about it, I simply cannot understand how "Hysteria" can be put in the same category as those other albums. It's not a simple matter of personal taste; I just don't see how "Hysteria" can implicitly be compared to the rest of that group, and it really bugs me! Granted, other than a few, mostly US-based bands (REM and Sonic Youth being a couple of major ones), no one was coming out with anything particularly interesting in 1987, but still! I'll concede that maybe "Hysteria", in that context, can be argued to be a decent pop-rock album, but a CLASSIC of the stature of "Dark Side" or "Yellow Brick Road"?? I don't think so. Go ahead, and pour some sugar on me...

Mid-summer Mini-rant

2006-08-02T01:50:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure what is up with the country politically. In my cynical moments I assume that most people don't really pay attention to politics, as long as there is an American Idol to vote for, the supermarket is filled with several varieties of Hot Pockets and there's a McDonald's at all times within a five-mile radius. If something were to occur that would interrupt THAT situation, THEN we might get some political change.

But for the most part, the number of Americans who care enough to get outraged at our incompetent, criminal administration is currently too small to have any real impact. I can't really blame people who choose to spend time with their families or their careers instead of on politics -- rationally speaking, at this point they have a better chance to improve their lot by acting privately than publicly. It's a tragedy, to be sure, but I think it will take a Great Depression-sized shock to effect a real political realignment that would make the Democrats into something more than the confused "me too!" party they are now.

I was cheered by the Supreme Court's recent rebuke to Bush's Guantanamo policy. But it's scary that the best news from our three branches of government in the last six years has to come from the Supreme Court.

Horrors! Foreign Flags Spotted at Parades in U.S.!

2006-04-10T22:56:00.000-04:00

Columbus Day, New York, NY, 2004

St. Patrick's Day, Jersey City, NJ, 2005

Polish Constitution Day Parade, Chicago, IL, 2003

Greek Independence Day Parade, New York, NY, 2005

Etc.

Are We Embarrassed Yet?

2005-12-02T00:13:00.000-05:00

I say it's time to adopt the South African Constitution...

Thanks for nuthin'!

2005-11-22T00:48:00.000-05:00

God, even Rep. Murtha voted against it!!!!...

As Keith Richards would say, "talk is cheap".

indeed.

For every action...

2005-11-21T23:45:00.000-05:00

So, it only took one press conference by Democratic Rep. John Murtha in which he stated that it was time to get the hell out of Iraq to set the White House into a frenzy of counter-insurgency activity: press secretary Scott McLeland compared Murtha, a pro-military hawk who served in Vietnam, to Michael Moore. Small Dick Cheney went on the offensive as well, deploring the irresponsibility of "rewriting history", and flatly asserting that the Iraqi people are better off now than they'd be under someone like bin Laden, again making the not-so-subtle suggestion that the US military presence in Iraq is somehow related to the 911 attack (have you no shame Dick?). Meanwhile, Rumsfeld does his part and goes on the Sunday morning talk shows to declare that American people will be in greater danger if the US military pulls out of Iraq (again, that 911 shadow...). Remember, when these dominoes start falling...

Forget John Murtha for a moment and ask yourself this: why is the White House so freaked out about this? Well, they are very, very concerned because of the effect Murtha's comments might have on people like you and me. If public opinion further shifts dramatically in opposition to the war and the occupation in Iraq, as it has in the last few months, then things start looking pretty bad for Rummy & Co. So, instead of calling Murtha's office and thanking him for doing something he and countless other spineless politicians should have done about 4 years ago when it would have mattered, call that pro-war uncle of yours, or talk to that bus driver who's always yapping about terrorism, or that co-worker who has a cousin in the 82nd Airborne. Talk to people around you and organize and make YOUR voice be heard, because THAT'S what Dick Cheney is REALLY afraid of, not Johnny-come-lately Dems like Murtha.

The Final Chapter??

2005-11-01T13:46:00.000-05:00

So, I'm reading Rolling Stone, and I see that murdered rapper Notorious B.I.G. is coming out this month with yet another posthumous album called "Duets: The Final Chapter" . This album contains duets with other artists (some of them dead, like Bob Marley!) that were completely manufactured in the recording studio by various producers. These tracks are evidently all new.

Now, I'm not against trying new things musically, like Billy Bragg and Wilco recording music to unreleased Woody Guthrie lyrics (they were actually invited by Guthrie's daughter to do so), but this is just stupid. The guy is dead. It's over. I thought so when Paul, George and Ringo recorded over a John Lennon demo in 1995 and released the track as a Beatles song, and I think so now.

Just stop it.

Bow Your Heads...

2005-09-20T19:53:00.000-04:00

So, when Dubbya called for September 16th to be a National Day of Prayer for the victims of hurricane Katrina, I couldn't help but laugh and think about Led Zeppelin and the song "When The Levee Breaks" on Zep IV:

If it keeps on rainin’, levee’s goin’ to break,
If it keeps on rainin’, levee’s goin’ to break,
When the levee breaks I’ll have no place to stay.
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Lord, mean old levee taught me to weep and moan,
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.
Don’t it make you feel bad
When you’re tryin’ to find your way home,
You don’t know which way to go?
If you’re goin’ down south
They got no work to do,
If you don’t know about chicago.
Cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good,
Now, cryin’ won’t help you, prayin’ won’t do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.
All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
All last night sat on the levee and moaned,
Thinkin’ ’bout me baby and my happy home.
Going, go’n’ to chicago,Go’n’ to chicago,
Sorry but I can’t take you.
Going down, going down now, going down.

So Georgie, while I'm sure a lot of folks down on the Gulf Coast appreciated your thoughts and prayers, at the end of the day, it won't do them no good, so do us all a favor and quit it with the empty symbolic gestures!

Perdu Done It

2005-09-13T02:05:00.000-04:00

In case anyone is wondering where Perdu went, my blogmate is in Brookhaven, MS helping out folks from New Orleans with the Red Cross at a local shelter. Here's to you my friend (raises Reed's ginger beer bottle)!

Let Them Eat Cake!

2005-09-12T18:53:00.000-04:00

So, I've been out of commission for a little while (long Labor Day weekend and then insane work schedule the following week), and so much has happened since I last was able to read the news, it's hard to know where to begin. I guess I'll go the easy route with my favorite quote so far from the whole Katrina tragedy/fiasco.

For those of you who still think that wealthy politicians and their families care about the low income folks of this country, Barbara Bush, in her usual Marie-Antoinette style, reminded us that at the end of the day, we're just peasants to her.

Here's what her majesty said:

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. … And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."
-- Former first lady Barbara Bush about Katrina evacuees housed in the Houston Astrodome

Yeah. This whole hurricane/flood/destruction/starvation/death thing has been working *really* well for those folks...

Sigh.

Life Imitates Art

2005-09-11T22:39:00.000-04:00

Gareth Keenan, assistant to the regional manager

Michael Brown, assistant to the city manager

Gareth Keenan: "I'm the assistant regional manager."

David Brent: "Assistant to the regional manager."

- BBC Series "The Office," 2001.

Time magazine reported that FEMA chief Michael Brown's official bio described his only stint in emergency management as "assistant city manager" in Edmond, Okla. But a city official told Time that the FEMA chief had been "an assistant to the city manager."

- Maureen Dowd, NYT, 11 September, 2005

Sean Puff P. Diddy Daddy Combs

2005-08-31T00:46:00.000-04:00

A post from Eve's Apple about Mr. Combs changing his name yet again triggered a thought about his two big hits, Come With Me and I'll Be Missing You. These two songs are essentially him singing over someone else's tune, namely Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" and The Police's "Every Breath You Take". This is of course beyond lame, but I think that Steve Albini of Shellac and Big Black fame put it best when talking to Punk Planet about sampling:

I don't have a lot of respect for records that are made out of other people's records. It seems like a trivial task. I don't find it enlightening. The key to me is that when I hear a piece of music that's made of samples of other people's records, the bit that you like about it is not the fact that it has been assembled in this new thing, the bit that you like is remembering this other song that they've stolen: "Oh yeah, that's that Creedence Clearwater song. I like that song. Therefore I like this thing."

Mr. Albini goes on:

I made an analogy at one point that it's sort of like taking whole pages out of somebody else's book and re-stapling them into your cover and calling it your book.

So, Mr. Combs, you can call yourself anything you want, you're still no Jimmy Page or Police-era Sting.

Beat it.

New Bar Tipping Rule

2005-08-29T11:15:00.000-04:00

Nothing like a blog post on tipping to get everyone and their mother jumping into the fray. I just posted the following comment to a discussion at Majikthise on what to tip bartenders and such:

This discussion has helped me clarify a new rule for me: Tip bar staff based on effort required to make and serve the drink, not on the price of the drink.

Yes, last time I went to my neighborhood tap, it stuck in my craw a bit when I handed over a dollar tip for the $2 bottle of beer that the bartender put on the counter.

But, if I think about it, the same effort would have been required for him to put a $7 bottle of Belgian Hefewhatever on the bar, and I wouldn't have batted an eye at tipping him a buck for that.

So: in a bar, I will henceforth tip based on effort, not price.

Now my question is: Is there a tip differential for the cocktail server who brings the $2 bottle of beer to my table? As compared to the bartender who can lift it out of the cooler and put it on the bar without moving his feet?

(And re: $2 beer. Yes, I am a cheap SOB who doesn't know what real beer tastes like. Sue me.)

If This is Pottery Barn, I'd Hate to See Pier 1

2005-08-28T19:49:00.000-04:00

Can we call a halt to the "Pottery Barn Rule" phrase? It didn't apply back when Colin Powell reportedly said it in 2002, and it doesn't apply now.

Today Tim Russert had a quartet of retired generals on Meet the Press to discuss Iraq. The options advocated by the generals ranged all the way from A to B, from "Stay the Course" to "Stay the Course, But With a Bigger Boat."

One of the guys urged that the U.S. stay the course, and he mentioned the "Pottery Barn Rule:" You break it, you bought it.

Can I just point out that once you start talking about launching Tomahawk cruise missiles off of a destroyer in the Persian Gulf, we're really beyond the scope of a shopper dropping a fragile porcelain candle holder on the floor in a home furnishings store. So right off the bat the "Pottery Barn Rule" is pretty unhelpful, is it not?

Even if we allow the "Pottery Barn Rule" People some poetic license, what is the military equivalent of a customer breaking something in a home furnishing store? Well, in Iraq, it certainly couldn't entail much more than the first shock-and-awe bombing of March 2003. Seems like in that case, the next step under the Pottery Barn Rule would have been to say, "Oops, sorry about that," and then to send the Iraqis a check for $45.6 million or whatever it took to repair the damage, with a little extra for maybe some hummus or a nice cup of coffee.

Obviously, we've done a bit more in Iraq than the military equivalent of breaking a candle holder. Imagine that you are a manager of a Pottery Barn store. The biggest dude in town thinks that to protect everyone he needs to come in to your store and throw everything on the floor, tip over shelves, pour the dirt out of the planters, and then punch everyone in the gut for good measure.

Then, once he starts trying to "clean up," it turns out that this big dude is more of a Jerry Lewis type. He starts slipping and sliding all over the place, dropping the stuff that didn't break the first time, saying things like "Whoa, Dean! Friction burning!" and "Whoa Dean! Hot water, burning hand!" and even a "Ladeee!" or two. Generally making the mess worse, in other words.

If you're the store owner, do you really want this guy to keep on trying to "clean up?" No. You'd probably say, "Hey, friend, thanks for your 'help,' but you're really doing more harm than good here right now so why don't you pay me for the damage and then GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

At this point, if we really want to observe the "Pottery Barn Rule," we should ask how much Iraq needs to repair the damage we caused, leave the money on the counter, and leave. Because that's what would really happen in a Pottery Barn.

Right?

Inconsequential Observation

2005-08-26T17:25:00.000-04:00

OK, I gotta get this off my chest: I'm all for people being able to wear comfortable shoes at work (especially women), but this whole beach-flip-flops-and-corporate-suit thing really looks stupid! I know it's hot out there, but there are plenty of much cuter open-toe shoe options other than the $30 GAP flip-flops color-coordinated with the $50 JCrew tank-top. Enough already!

Friday Random Ten - Sweet Finnish Truncated Song Pool Edition

2005-08-26T15:23:00.000-04:00

This week's FRT comes to you Straight Outta JP Center, from the Sweet Finnish bakery (owned by people from Finland, not poor spellers), and the song pool is roughly half as large as normal, owing to the fact that I'm using Helen's laptop and Helen is uh, more selective in filling out her itunes library than I am.

So: The first 10 songs to come up on shuffle mode are:

01 - Luxury Liner - Emmylou Harris Hot beat Emmylou!

02 - Do You Want to Know a Secret - The Beatles Cool-as-a-colada Latin-y beat from Ringo.

03 - Black Wind Blowing - Billy Bragg Lyrics by Woody Guthrie.

04 - Shine on You Crazy Diamond (Parts VI - IX) - Pink Floyd Don't you just love the transition from Part VII to Part VIII? Almost as good as the transition from Part III to Part IV.

05 - Job of Journeywork - The Chieftains Music to burn peat by.

06 - My Sharona - The Knack Ask me to show you the 1988 video of me performing this song on my Mom's Yamaha keyboard. Classy lyrics.

07 - We Want a Rock - They Might Be Giants "Everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around." I know I do. An accordion-soaked fave from John and John.

08 - Keep on the Sunny Side - The Whites From the "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" soundtrack.

09 - Big Rock Candy Mountains - Harry McClintock Another "O Brother" song. "There's a lake of stew, and whiskey too, you can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe!" I'm there!

10 - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! - ABBA One of the London Symphony Orchestra's finest moments.

Speaking Terrorist

2005-08-25T12:41:00.000-04:00

A friend who works in the anti-war arena recently passed along a comment received from a member of the public about why we need to keep on fighting the war in Iraq:

"I DON'T WANT TO LEARN TO SPEAK FRENCH OR GERMAN OR TERRORIST..."

Leaving aside for a moment the military threat posed by the new French-German Alliance (is it based around smelly cheeses?), here is a short phrase guide for the tourist traveling in Terrorist-speaking areas:

ENGLISH: Can you direct me to the restroom?
TERRORIST: Can you direct me to th- (Explode self.)

ENGLISH: Do you have a cigarette?
TERRORIST: Do you hav- (Explode self.)

ENGLISH: Where can I purchase a newspaper?
TERRORIST: Where can I purch- (Explode self.)

Volume

2005-08-25T11:43:00.000-04:00

In addition to Pain's staggering age tabulations below, I can report that the Stones concert was clearly audible at Ruggles Station when I passed through there on my bike at about 8:30 pm on Tuesday. According to Yahoo Maps, Ruggles is about a mile from Fenway Park. This means that almost the entire MIT campus plus all of Simmons and Emmanuel Colleges and Northeastern University could also hear it.

Time is on our side...

2005-08-25T00:41:00.000-04:00

So, by my calculations, when the 4 remaining members of the Rolling Stones opened the US leg of their world tour and hit the stage at Boston's Fenway Park Monday night, their combined age was 245 years. That's nearly 2.5 centuries. I'm not entirely sure what that means exactly, but that mathematical fact is, in and of itself, impressive.

Ah, OK, I get it now...

2005-08-24T01:07:00.000-04:00

So, according to Dubbya, while addressing an audience in Salt Lake City on Monday, we ought NOT to discuss withdrawing from Iraq because of the American soldiers who have died there and in Afghanistan. W said: "we owe them something. We will finish the task that they gave their lives for" (NYT, August 23, 2005).

Ze logic is superbe!!

French Here

2005-08-23T15:15:00.000-04:00

Salut les potes! French here. Let's do this!

Toast Here.

2005-08-23T14:43:00.000-04:00

Hello. Toast here. Welcome to French Toast.

French will be along shortly. At that point, anything can happen.